The Top 3 Reasons People Are Chronically Mistreated In Their Jobs And How To Change That - Kathy Caprino

The Top 3 Reasons People Are Chronically Mistreated In Their Jobs And How To Change That Part of the series “Finding Brave To Build a Happier Life and Career” This week, I received an email from one of my LinkedIn followers in response to a recent episode I published of my Finding Brave podcast. While I don’t know this individual, she shared openly and emotionally about her situation about how she’d been terribly mistreated and, in fact, bullied in her latest job by her manager who was a director and also, later, by the head of HR, after she quit and gave a short notice. In our interchange, she explained that this wasn’t the only job at which she’d been treated horriblyâ€"it was numerous previous jobs as well. And she shared a litany of unethical, abusive and even illegal behaviors that she experienced from toxic colleagues, HR staff and bosses. This is not new news. I receive literally hundreds of these types of emails and LinkedIn messages each year from peopleâ€"both men and womenâ€"sharing how they’ve been legitimately abused or mistreated in their work and in multiple jobs.  And I take these messages to heart because for many years, on and off, I was on the receiving end of treatment at work (by colleagues and superiors) that was toxic, unethical, demeaning and sometimes emotionally abusive, and always confusing. Approximately 20 years ago when I was at my unhappiest juncture in my corporate life, a dear friend was staying the weekend at my house. I remember this day like it was yesterday. We were sitting on my couch and I was sharing the gory details of what I was going through at work. This was not the first time I was having terrible problems with a bossâ€"this was just the latest in a string of disasters. My friend said something to me like this: “Kathy, you know I love you and I’m a true supporter, but I’m wondering how can it be that so many of your bosses have been so bad. I’m just wondering if there’s not something else going on. Maybe therapy might help get to the bottom of it for you.” Truthfully, I was deeply shocked and hurt that my friend could even think that the problem was related to my behavior (or at least, that’s how I took it). How could she think that it was something that I needed therapy about? But after thinking about our discussion for a few weeks, I decided that maybe she was onto something. Maybe there was something going on that I didn’t understand that was contributing to why I was so chronically unhappy at work and why my relationships with authority figures and colleagues were so often fraught with challenge and pain. Turns out, she was right. From that discussion with my friend, I engaged in two powerful years of therapy and learned so very much about why I struggled with my bosses, and why I attracted (and stayed far too long in)   jobs and situations that weren’t good for me, and didn’t allow me to grow and express my true self in the way I needed and wanted to. In short, it amounted to my own poor boundaries, lack of confidence and self-esteem, inability to use my voice and say “STOP” in ways that were powerful, and my own inability to recognize a very bad work situation before I threw myself into it. After a brutal layoff from that toxic job, I transformed my career and became a marriage and family therapist and career coach, which was a life-changing experience in countless ways. And I use that therapy training in every ounce of my career coaching, speaking, writing and research today. What have I learned in these past 20 years about the top reasons so many of us experience continual and chronic mistreatment at work? Before I share those reasons, I want to make a differentiation here between chronic mistreatment and a one-time situation, because they are different. Yes, it’s very likely that in our years of working, we’ll experience at least one traumatizing work situation that goes very badly and involves some type of legitimate mistreatment, abuse, sabotage and more. In fact, recent research has revealed that almost 75% of workers have reported being affected by bullying at work. That’s a huge number that represents a tremendous costâ€"to us as individuals, to our workforce and to our workplaces each year. What I’d like to focus on here, however, is not the one-time experience, but when we’re chronically and continually mistreated at numerous jobs. I’ve found that what repeats over and over is not randomâ€"there’s something deeper going on. And when we can empower and strengthen ourselves in critical ways, we’re able to avoid or address mistreatment very differently. In working with thousands of professionals who want better, more successful careers and businesses, I’ve observed these 3 common reasons people continue to take and remain in toxic jobs that hurt them: 1: The core negative messages you learned in childhood are still with you We’ve all been formed by our childhood experiences to a far greater degree than we have ever understood. In fact, I’m seeing that in our adult lives, we are behaving, feeling, and reacting in ways that directly stem from what we’ve learned to be as children in our specific families. If you haven’t examined (and addressed) the key messages and behaviors you adopted to be accepted by your family and your authority figures, to succeed in the ecosystem you were born into, then those behaviors and learnings are significantly influencing your career (and life) today. It’s critical to understand that seemingly “happy” and intact families (and well-meaning parents) can generate wounds in you that are still interfering with your ability to be happy, confident and successful. Most professionals I coach and train who are not thriving at the highest level are still unconsciously trying to heal wounds and power gaps that were initially formed in their childhood, but most don’t recognize these as wounds or gaps. And most have no idea how their childhood coping behaviors and messages they received are holding them back today from the success and happiness they want. The most common coping mechanisms and core message that professionals are carrying from their childhoods that are causing great damage are: “Perfectionistic overfunctioning” â€" doing more than is appropriate, healthy and necessary and desperately trying to get an A+ in all of it, or order to feel worthy of love and to be accepted. Not speaking up when necessary because it was extremely scary (or not allowed) to challenge your authority figures when you were a child, and you were in some way punished when you did it Stopping yourself from “shining” too brightly, feeling confident, and taking credit where credit is due because you were taught that it’s unseemly and wrong for a girl to brag Not asking for help when you need it or building a powerful support network because you were taught that asking for help shows weakness and vulnerability Not having the appropriate boundaries and knowing how to stand up for yourself, manage your emotions and make the right decisions because your boundaries were violated by parents who overstepped their bounds and never taught you how to think for yourself or trust in your own capabilities Tip: Think back to your childhood and write down all the messages and coping strategies that you learned â€" about yourself, the world, relationships, authority, power, independence, assertiveness, money, etc. Evaluate which of these messages and coping strategies are helping and which are hurting you today. Then get some outside help to shift those negative mindsets and behaviors once and for all. #2: The role you play today at work is the role you played in your family Today, in your adult life and career, you are playing the exact same role you played in your family and at school when you were a child trying to get love and acceptance or to serve in a way that kept the family functioning (unless you’ve done the internal and external work necessary to modify that). I’ve learned that for the most part, we as adults are a living, fluid reaction to what our parents and authority figures and the ecosystem we grew up in, taught us to be. We’re still playing the role that we somehow (unconsciously) adopted to keep the family functioning in the way it had historically and the way it wants to continue.  A family is a “system” and there are rules and structures that govern how this specific system operates. The family strives to attain a balance (even if that balance is unhealthy) and maintain homeostasis, and the roles that each member play are part of that balance. I once ran a Facebook group with over 2,000 members who were adult children of narcissists, many who are over 40.  Most still could not speak up to their parents and assert healthy boundaries. In short, they simply could not play a new role. Sadly, we don’t just “grow up” and overcome these emotional and self-identity challenges from childhood. It takes internal work that many of us never do. Just a few of the roles I see professionals playing out in their work-lives that they adopted in childhood are: The perfect one The responsible one The parentified child The black sheep The “loser” The scapegoat The mediator The caregiver The financial rock And it’s fascinating to see that professionals are often attracted over and over to workplaces that demonstrate the same type of dysfunction that their families represented. Tip: Think deeply about the role you adopted and played in your family to keep the family in status quo mode. Are you still playing that role in your work-life today? #3: Your decisions keep failing you as to what jobs to take and remain in For hundreds of professionals I talk to, they end up in jobs and work cultures they hate, and they recognize it was a bad move often within the first month of employment. (That was me in my last corporate job.) Why is it that you’re having great troubling identifying up front a culture that will be damaging for you, and why don’t you act on your instincts not to take the job? In short, it’s because your decision-making process is not what it needs to be. Here are the top three challenges people have in making the right decisions for themselves and staying away from toxic jobs and people. Your decisions: 1)    Don’t support your intrinsic values Your decisions will be bad ones for you if they go against what you value and respect.   When you make a decision that ignores your values, it almost never comes to a good end, because you’ll either be on the receiving end of behavior that demoralizes you, or you’ll end up sabotaging the direction because it’s so out of alignment and painful, you can’t sustain it. 2)    Come from a place of weakness and disempowerment Decisions that come from weakness, fear, or running away from something, can’t move you forward in a positive way.   When you accept or stay in a bad job, often it’s because you’re running away from something and are desperate to make this work. When you do that, you’ll inevitably turn a blind eye to what is wrong and toxic, and you’ll step right into it anyway. 3)    Are about trying to prove something Finally, your decisions are going to fail you if the jobs you take are about trying to “prove” something â€" to yourself or others. Many professionals take a new job to try to prove their former employer didn’t treat them well enough, pay them highly enough or promote them. But trying to prove something by taking the wrong job will hurt you even more. If you’re angry at your boss or organization and want to prove your worth, the best way to do that is to build a strong, irrefutable case about why you deserve a promotion or raise, and have that discussion in an empowered way. But don’t act out in a childish way and jump to a new, unvetted (and bad) job to get them to say “I’m sorry.” Tip: Without exception, always align your decisions with your core values. Every day, be brave enough to honor what you know to be true about who you are and what you want. Make decisions that let you live from your highest standards of integrity. In the end, if you can heal the self-limiting messages you learned in childhood and take on a new, more positive and empowered role than the one you had to play in your childhood, your life and career will transform. And you will become even more vigilant and careful about the types of people, cultures and workplaces that you choose to support and connect with, so that your precious remaining years of working will be rewarding and fulfilling. To build a happier, better career, join Kathy’s Amazing Career Project course and her Career Breakthrough programs. And download her FREE webinar The Quickest Path To Your Happiest Career.

Resume Writing in La Verne California is One of the Popular Jobs That Many People Are Taking on

Resume Writing in La Verne California is One of the Popular Jobs That Many People Are Taking onResume writing in La Verne California is actually a very popular art. Many businesses hire writers to create effective resumes for job openings. This is not a new method; it has been in use for many years. Nevertheless, today the hiring managers in this region of California are turning to other forms of business correspondence to help them write resumes for job openings.There are now resume templates and even applications that can be submitted with a resume for your specific situation. They can also be sent by email. If you are submitting your resume online, then it will save you the trouble of having to personally meet with a representative of the company you are applying for.The creation of resume writing in La Verne California is done in a variety of ways. There are various online resources that you can use to help you out with the job search. With the Internet, there are a variety of jo b-board sites that now specialize in resume writing in La Verne California.You might also find that most of the job board sites provide you with a variety of opportunities to do the job search, resume writing in La Verne California, in addition to job board information. In fact, job board sites are becoming more popular as people turn to the Internet to find jobs and resumes.If you have the skills and the desire to become a professional resume writer, then you should not put off pursuing this goal. It is not something that will be an easy task, but as with most things that require work, it is worth the effort.Once you choose to focus on resume writing in La Verne California, you will be well on your way to improving your skills and to taking on a rewarding and fulfilling career. You will have the opportunity to meet and interact with many job seekers and employers, as well as a broad spectrum of other professionals who have the ability to offer you advice about the job search proces s.When you have established yourself as a resume writer in La Verne California, you will have the opportunity to work with a variety of companies, helping them to identify and then to send in their resumes. The result is that you can work with a wide variety of employers, and they will most likely be more than happy to work with you in this way.It should not be a concern to you that resume writing in La Verne California is a challenging task. The fact that you are using your talents to help others improve their chances for a new career, will make it a worthwhile venture. The rewards of being able to help others through resume writing will be in the end, well worth the time and effort.

How to Prepare a Well-Written Entry Level Resume Summary

How to Prepare a Well-Written Entry Level Resume SummaryIf you're looking for a job, you may be wondering how to prepare a well-written entry level resume. The first thing you should do is consider your skills and abilities. If you're good at playing an instrument, write about how you learned to play the instrument and learn about the instrument.You can write about your achievements and describe how you developed a sales person's skills and customer relationship management abilities. Write about how you got your job and how you got the position in the first place.Show that you have strong communication skills. You may want to include a section on your resume where you list the companies you were recently employed with and show your accomplishments in the past. You can include stories about when you were given a raise or told that you were promoted. This shows that you are confident and are someone who is willing to work hard.Another key point for a well-written entry level resume sum mary is that you should list everything that you did for your last employer. Your responsibilities, and accomplishments, and how you are doing your job now.After listing your skills and accomplishments, you should write about your career goals. These should be written in the same way that you wrote your resume summary.When you're writing an entry level resume summary, remember that the boss will look at the resume. Be sure that your resume and summaries are free of errors and spelling mistakes. If you are a recent college graduate, be sure that your resume is written in a way that it is easy to read and that you do not overwhelm the reader.Overall, a well-written entry level resume summary will help you land your dream job. It will also be one of the best things that you can do for yourself as it can inspire other employees to do the same.

Vital Pieces of Resume Writing Service Package

Vital Pieces of Resume Writing Service Package A lot of my customers come from america of America (U.S.). It is essential to make use of all of the best practices. You will have to list details about employment you've had in years past which ought to incorporate the dates of employment, salary, address of the organization and supervisor's name. Writing a federal resume means following federal resume guidelines to ensure hiring managers are in a position to get the precise details they want with only a quick glance. The Basic Facts of Resume Writing Service Package By checking out all features and services a provider offers, we're getting sufficient info to generate a conclusion on which are the best resume services that can enable you to get the job which you are applying for. Next, you are going to give the company some info regarding your career and send a duplicate of your current resume, in case you have one. Get in touch with us for a completely free consultation if yo u would like to know more or if you truly feel prepared to start on your high-quality federal job resume. If you're searching for professional federal resume writing services you may trust to secure you the federal job you've always wanted, SES Resume Writers is precisely what you demand. The Principles of Resume Writing Service Package You Can Benefit From Starting Right Away The organization focuses on result-oriented documents, don't use general templates, and give an interview guarantee. If you have selected the very best package for you, ordering from us is quite straightforward. If you utilize the premade resume templates, you won't ever become such services anyway. The website should explain fees and supply you with a great idea of the way the service works. Our customer service will also be available to assist you, over the telephone, by e-mail or by means of the desktop. My site is your very best solution if you're struggling with the decision on which service you should select. For starters, though the company has done a good job in making the site design and content, there's a severe absence of service options on it. Should you need help finding additional templates, do a fast online search. Ask to see samples of earlier resumes, which can help you get a sense for the caliber of the service's work. There are various formats to use if creating a resume. What to Expect From Resume Writing Service Package? Our Professional resume writers understand how to compose a resume. The world wide web has made it quite simple to find competent writers. Our writers should be in a position to access the appropriate resources and set in whatever amount of time that it requires to customize your resume properly. Don't get rid of hope, however, because it is now feasible to get support from top resume writing services in Chicago.

Finding Great Opportunities Be Out In The World To Receive Your Luck - Work It Daily

Finding Great Opportunities Be Out In The World To Receive Your Luck - Work It Daily The following post is an excerpt from What the Hell Is Going On in My Life? â€" Using Your Birthdate to Find Answers About Relationships, Career, Money, Sex Health by Larry Schwimmer. When Jupiter enters your 10th House, you receive great opportunities to expand or improve your career, profession, social status, or reputation. This is usually a fortunate time when you can make great progress in your occupation or business and achieve successful results. You may find yourself walking around the world with a confident swagger and a spring in your step. You’ll feel courageous, enthusiastic, and have a very positive attitude that everyone around you notices. This is a time when you’re happy because you’re pursuing the work you were meant to do and your career climbs to new heights. It’s when your business expansion efforts pay off big time. In fact, any career moves that you make are destined to produce results and strike pay dirt in the long run. This is a year of your life when you should be out in the public: networking, meeting people, and making contacts with those who’ll be valuable in helping you achieve success in your career or business. Often in life, you work hard, talk to people, and reach out and ask for help, but you get no results (sometimes, no response). You might be tempted to say: “Hellloooo… is anyone there?” It just seems like the world is not acknowledging your existence; it's only throwing roadblocks your way. It’s frustrating because, despite your earnest efforts, requests, and pleadings, you can’t seem to make a breakthrough to accomplish your goals. However, get ready for the opposite effect. Here are some of positive responses you may receive during the year that Jupiter transits your 10th House: “We’ve been looking for someone with your talent to join our company. You’re hired!” “After interviewing all the candidates, the board has decided to offer you the presidency.” “We’re downsizing and re-organizing the company, but we’d like you to remain.” “Congratulations on starting your own business. We’d like to be your first customer.” “We want you to head the philosophy department at the university.” These are examples of statements that a person might hear when Jupiter transits their 10th House of career and reputation. Don’t forget that luck is not only defined in terms of a big job offer, pay raise, a large product order, or a civic award for meritorious achievement. After all, you can’t always tell bad luck from good luck at first glance. What, at first appears as bad luck, may turn out to be good luck in the long run. Because of Jupiter’s beneficent influences your good fortune may be that you are saved from bad fortune. Consider these examples: Not fired after making a costly mistake. Not laid off from your company when other people are. The company that didn’t hire you goes bankrupt. A Jupiter transit can make you feel expansive and grandiose where you are only looking for “big things” to happen, so it’s good to manage your expectations when you have this transit. After all, one person might consider himself lucky to find a $1 bill on the street; another would insist that he’d have to find a $100 bill to feel lucky. While Jupiter’s energies generally bring good luck and great opportunity, avoid the tendency to have such grand ideas of what luck means that you lose all sense of proportion or gratitude for the fortune you’ve been blessed with. Often luck brings you opportunity. But what you do with that opportunity is up to you. However, you must be proactive to take full advantage of the luck, fortune, and opportunity Jupiter brings to your career during this year. In fact, you must take steps to reach out in an extroverted way, even if it’s not your normal style, because it will pay off during this year. Here are some actions that clients, who wanted to advance their careers, have taken during this transit: I had one client agree to a commitment of having one lunch a week with a new contact; another said she'd make 10 phone calls a day to different organizations asking if they would be interested in sponsoring her workshop to their membership Another person agreed to consult his weekly newspaper to attend three networking events at such places as his local chamber of commerce, country club, and church One job seeker agreed to network each day on LinkedIn, attend job fairs, and call old bosses and colleagues on a daily basis until she found a new job Someone who wanted to buy a franchise business agreed to research five franchise operations a week and attend a national franchise show to learn of various opportunities. These are just a few action plans. But each of these clients achieved their career goals. Watch This Webinar Did you ever wish you had your own personal advisor who could help you understand the surprising, confusing, and challenging events happening in your career? Did you ever wish you had a career life coach that could provide you with the positive timing to know when to apply for a job, win a promotion or start a successful business? This webinar will provide you with answers to questions such as: When is the best time find a great job? When will I get the promotion I want? When should I start (or expand) my new business? When am I likely to have problems or conflicts with bosses and co-workers? What should I do if I’m in the wrong job or career? When is the best time to change a job or career? What can I do to overcome career obstacles? Join us for a special webinar on using astrology in your career. Presenter: Larry Schwimmer, author of What the Hell Is Going On in My Life? In this webinar, ”The Best Time For Your Next Career Move â€" Using Your Birthdate Astrology,” bestselling business author, life coach and astrologer, Larry Schwimmer provides those answers.   WATCH NOW ?   Photo Credit: Shutterstock Have you joined our career growth club?Join Us Today!

How to Land an Executive Position With Expert Wendy Enelow

How to Land an Executive Position With Expert Wendy EnelowWendy Enelow is an expert on finding, and keeping, a job. Whether shes showing us how to get the perfect resume at Resume Writing Academy or leading thinkers on the cutting edge of recruiting and hiring at Career Thought Leaders, you wont find anyone whos more focused on careers. Wendy talked with us about finding an executive role in the modern day.When someone is looking to step into an executive role, whats the first thing they should do?Determine whether or not they have the requisite skills, qualifications and credentials for the positions they are targeting. If not, they should determine the best place to acquire those skills either through employment or an educational program. No need to apply if youre not yet qualified. Equally important is finding an executive mentor or sponsor who can work with you to promote your candidacy to the company and/or position that youre targeting.How does finding an executive role differ from finding another job?Savvy executives who are seeking new opportunities should engage in high-level job search activities, including verbunden networking, in-person networking, blogging, target company outreach, recruiter outreach and direct mail/email. They might also respond to specific online job postings, although that should not be the crux of their search campaign, as its the least effective way to find a new position. Most other job seekers should engage in as many of these activities as are relevant to their career objectives. Perhaps the most significant difference is that executive job searches generally take longer since there are less positions available, the competition can be fierce and the hiring process itself takes a great deal of time.If an employer needs to fill an executive position, where should they start looking?Some employers will reach out to executive recruiters to handle the task of recruiting new management and leadership. Although the price tag is h igh, recruiters will find the candidates of choice and present them to the company. Alternative strategies, which can be just as effective and much less costly, include using LinkedIn to identify and connect with qualified candidates, searching groups of interest to the companys industry or profession to find group members with the qualifications the hiring company is seeking, creating a Facebook page and Twitter account to attract quality candidates to the company, and networking with company personnel, suppliers, geschftliches miteinander partners and others who know the people that they may want to hire.How important is the resume to finding an executive position, and why?The resume is any professionals calling card, giving enough important information and sharing the right achievements and success stories to entice the hiring company to invite the candidate for an interview. Just as important in todays world of online job search is the LinkedIn profile. In fact, LinkedIn can be more important when a company is doing their initial sourcing then, the resume comes into play after the candidate has been identified on LinkedIn, which is the primary social media platform for executives.What do you wish everyone knew about writing a resume?The most important thing to know about resume writing is that youre writing to the futureto the position and industry that youre targeting. Resumes are NOT autobiographical essays of everything youve done throughout your entire career. Rather, theyre career marketing communications designed to sell your distinctive qualifications, experiences, achievements, educational credentials and more. Resumes are the appetizers candidates are the main course (once they get an interview)What trends in executive hiring should we be watching for in the future?Perhaps the greatest trend will be in the specificity of expertise. Companies want to hire executives with very specific expertise in their industry, product or technology executives w ho can solve problems and overcome challenges, executives who can optimize opportunities and deliver results by leveraging what theyve already accomplished and who they know. And companies want virtually immediate results. They dont want the plan that will turnaround the business in two years they want the turnaround now.

What to Do About Resume Writing Service North County San Diego Before You Miss Your Chance

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